Fathers, The Silent Heroes
The third Sunday is also known as Father’s Day. First observed in the United States of America, it has been actively adopted by many countries over the years. In 2021, it falls on the 20th June.
Fathers play an important role in the family and the society. True to their nature, fathers have always been the silent part of the family. Children growing up in traditional and strict families would remember their father being the strict disciplinarian or a man of little words. While every father is unique, one thing stays the same – societal expectations for men to be the provider for the family, and to do it silently.
With the changes happening in the world, we are fast seeing a change in the perception of the role of a “father”. From children brought up in single-parent families to teenagers growing up in boarding schools with their teachers serving as a father figure, the concept is changing. But one thing remains, the role of a father is important.
Remembering Dad’s Wisdom
Fathers are known to dispensing little nuggets of wisdom and wise words. In business, some leaders would dispense good advice, as experienced by Kare Anderson, a speaker and author of Mutuality Matters More Living a Happy, Meaningful and Satisfying Life With Others.
“The best advice I’ve gotten from a father figure is to strengthen my interpersonal skills. Ask follow-up questions, seek sweet spots of mutual interest in conversations, and be open to seeing different sides of a situation. Such experiences draw us closer and more aware of our complementary talents we can provide each other and be motivated to do so. Get specific sooner with the specific detail, example or story that can prove a general conclusion yet not the reverse. And most importantly, always seek to bring out others’ better side so they naturally see yours.”
What are some of your father’s wisdom that you remember and hold till today?
Hard To Say “I Love You”
While fathers are oftentimes seen as the disciplinarian, the quiet man, or the one who dispenses great advice, many fathers around the world have one thing in common: expressing their love for their family members in words. However, the common misconception is that men do not have emotions is far from the truth. Many thoughts do go through their minds, but fathers oftentimes find themselves struggling to find ways to express their feelings without being perceived as being weak. Regrettably, they end up keeping silent most of the time.
But for the lack of words, fathers would always make up for it by providing security, monetary support, and finding solutions to the family’s challenges.
Thankfully, the society is slowly changing, and more parents and children are finding it easier to express their love for each other in many ways.
Appreciating Fathers - An Arduous Task
With fathers feeling challenged when it comes to expressing their love for their family, the same applies for many children. Between daughters and sons, more sons struggle when it comes to verbalizing their love for their parents.
The difficulty in finding ways to express one’s feelings and emotions is a common challenge for many people in the world, regardless of age or geographical location. While it could be rooted in culture, it is not a fact that cannot be changed. And studies have shown that being able to verbalize one’s feelings and emotions has been shown to produce therapeutic effects in the brain, in a research done by UCLA psychologists.
Maybe it is time for everyone to flex our muscles to put emotions into words.
Thank You, Dad
Expressing one’s emotions and feelings is one of the most challenging thing to do, as it takes a lot of courage and thought process. Fathers are not the only ones finding it hard to express their feelings — their children, too, find it hard to search for words to express their gratitude to their father.
A simple request was made to some of the students at the Nagaoka University of Technology in Japan to their father. Five students rose to the challenging of verbalizing their gratitude for their father and the father figures in their lives.
” Cảm ơn ba đã luôn luôn yêu con, luôn luôn ủng hộ con. Ba đã dạy con rất nhiều về cuộc sống về cách trở thành người tốt. Nếu không có ba con sẽ không có ngày hôm nay. Cảm ơn ba và chúc ba ngày của ba vui vẻ “
” Thank you for always loving me, and for all your support. You’ve taught me a lot about life, and guided me to become good person. Without you I wouldn’t be me today. Thank you, dad and Happy Father’s Day. “
Ha Phuong Nam
GD2 – Micronano Processing Lab
” ไม่ว่าพ่อจะยุ่งแค่ไหน พ่อจะกลับบ้านมาหาหนูเสมอ หนูไม่ค่อยได้พูดกับพ่อมากนัก แต่อยากให้พ่อรู้ว่าไม่ว่าหนูจะไปไหน พ่อจะเป็นคนสำคัญในชีวิตหนูเสมอ หนูรักพ่อนะคะ . “
” No matter how busy you are, you would always be there for me. Dad, I know that we don’t talk much, but I want you to know that no matter where I am, you’ll always be the most important person in my life. I love you.”
GD4 – Soil and Aqua Environmental Laboratory
“I am not a person who is used to expressing my love and feelings through words, neither speaking nor writing. Yet, it doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. Even though I can’t find the words to say how deeply I appreciate having you in my life, I wish Allah would always keep you healthy and happy. Happy Father’s Day!”
GD1 – Bio-Sustainable Environmental Materials Engineering Laboratory
“I know we will not share the same ideas, but I’m happy that you allow me to think freely and support me. Happy Father’s Day.”
Guillermo Guangorena Zarzosa
GD2 – Bio-Sustainable Environmental Materials Engineering Laboratory
The Silent Hero
Who is this hero standing silently,
The one with immense courage,
Brimming with infinite empathy,
And full of Muditā (joy)
From the silent hero unlock,
The sun… keeping the body warm,
The rhythm…. pulsing blood through veins,
The motivation… of the next steps,
The creator… of opportunities,
And the leader … of life.
The man who promised silently,
I’ll keep you safe,
I’ll make you happy,
I’ll take you to where you need to be.
You may see him as a rock,
A person without feelings,
It is because he lets him burn,
With the highest hope,
He lets his body corrode,
Just to see you glow.
He is always there,
Until when you are ready,
And the world hears you.
Opportunities do not knock,
For you to express your feelings,
And definitely not in turn,
As there is no perfect time,
To show your gratitude,
To your Silent Hero.
Dinesh Frank Perera
GD2 – Urban Transport Engineering and Planning Laboratory
(and a proud father of one)
Making That Connection
While fathers may seem silent, they do experience emotions and feelings like most people would.
For many sons, the transition from being a child to becoming a father has helped them to empathize with their father’s struggles. They start to feel the worries their fathers would have experienced even before they were born, and more worries about the future of their children. Some people are blessed to push for that conversation with their father, and through the process, discover their father’s “love language”.
While some still have the privilege to pick up the phone and talk to their father, some others can only wish for the opportunity to hear the laughter and the voice of their father in heaven. Time and tide waits for no man, and there is no better time than now to express your appreciation to your silent hero.
If you have the opportunity to reconnect with your father, what would you say to him?